


Going Home

by BunnyBob



Series: Trying to Tie Loose Ends (Catharsis Continuation) [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, sidlink - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, Depression, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Yelling, a kid dies, angst 4 days, hopelessness, verbal smackdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 10:30:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13996356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyBob/pseuds/BunnyBob
Summary: Brivere is just…tired. All he wants to do is go home, but he can’t go there without the only thing he has left in the world: his beloved little brother.(An angst AU of Coma Baby, a sidlink fic by BanishedOne. It takes place roughly after Brivere last sees Prince Sidon when he took the spirit potion and occurs over the week that Sidon was knocked the fuck out. It borrows dialogue from CH 48 of Coma Baby, to keep in the spirit of this being like an alternate timeline.)





	Going Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BanishedOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BanishedOne/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Coma Baby](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10493943) by [BanishedOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BanishedOne/pseuds/BanishedOne). 



> This is a fanfiction for a fanfiction called Coma Baby by BanishedOne, and a continuation of the other one I wrote called Catharsis. If you like a grumpy Link and really well developed, deep characters and an amazing take on the political structure of the Zora Domain, then definitely check out Coma Baby! It's a long read and still going on, but the writing and descriptions are superb and it just means more great content. This fic in particular is focused on my favorite character in the series, the OC Brivere. You don't need to read the whole series to get what's going on in this fic though, since a lot is explained in here.
> 
> My tumblr is bunnyb0b! I post memes and fics for Coma Baby there, you can chat with me any time about anything!
> 
> Huge thank you to my amazing beta reader Alina! Her tumblr and ff.net is @ipromiseitsnotanobsession. She actually does editing shit for a living and she is the one that makes sure these things aren't trash, so. Also this particular chapter was made for her, because she loves angst lmao
> 
> Disclaimer: In no way does this have any true ties or canon to Coma Baby unless stated otherwise. It’s really just an indulgence AU to feed my obsession for Brivere drama.

 

Brivere was just… tired. Tired of everything, really.

The past and the present were taking a toll on him. He had accidentally lashed out at his only true friend, Prince Sidon. And the way that his prince had stared at him a few days later, as if they were strangers or perhaps even worse, had absolutely crushed the golden knight’s heart. Seeing the wretch that had stolen his beloved Sidon’s heart, standing there, watching all of it with a triumphant look in his smug blue eyes, infuriated Brivere to no end.

He had no one now. Prince Sidon had been the only one to ever really be there for him, allowing him to drink up constant praise and affection that he didn’t deserve. Uncertainty tugged at Brivere’s heart at the fact that he wasn’t sure if his crush on the prince was true love or… just a broken attempt to hang onto every ounce of positive attention that came his way, to get absolutely drunk off of the prince’s genuine care and concern.

And, as Brivere sat at the edge of the cistern in his home, legs dangling in the possibly contaminated water, he wondered if he could blame himself for that. After all, the prince’s attention was the only positive attention that he really received. It was clear that all of the other soldiers didn’t like him, or anyone else, really. This was exemplified when the Guard Captain refused to help give his younger brother rations, despite Estuu’s extremely sensitive palate. It was also apparent when the other nobles would glare at him when he was just trying to do his job as Knight Captain.

Then he thought about why. It had all begun when his so-called father had hastily married his mother, claiming to love her but leaving no evidence of it, dooming her and her unborn son to a life of torment and humiliation. And when he was born, no one had believed her story, and they were stripped of nobility status. Then, in her grieving state, she had been taken advantage of by a smooth talking noble named Zambezi, who had just gotten her pregnant and had eventually abandoned them. The only good thing to come out of it had been his younger brother, who he would lay his life down for.

Estuu. The only person he had left.

Brivere glanced over his shoulder to watch the younger Zora, who was completely wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by piles of his favorite books. They were the only things that had survived the wreckage.

Right. Their house had collapsed in the earthquake. And as if they hadn’t lost enough already, Estuu had lost the lower half of his arm, also losing both his ability to shoot a bow and arrow along his power to quickly heal people. The rare ability that had given them some sort of worth in society.

Now, they had nothing. They _were_ nothing.

Brivere let out a deep exhale, fully turning to his younger brother. “Estuu.” he said quietly, rolling around the bottle in his hands. “May you come here? I must talk to you about something urgent.”

The younger Zora didn’t move, the only thing indicating that he had even heard a word at all being the slight flicker of his golden eyes. Finally, he relented, unraveling his mangled body out of the blanket cocoon, the only thing that protected him from the world that threatened to overwhelm him every second that he dared to live in it.

Estuu slowly made his way over to his older brother, settling down beside him and dangling his feet in the water. That was when Brivere knew that his younger brother was thinking the same thing.

Because it didn’t matter that the water was contaminated with the Water Blight, considering what they were about to do.

He held up the familiar bottle, shaking it in front of the younger Zora’s dull eyes. Sensing the hesitation there, Brivere decided to fully explain the implications to his little brother, to eliminate any chance of doubt. “As you must recognize, this is mother’s bottle. The same one from that day.”

Estuu nodded. Neither of them could forget a single detail from the moment they had found their dead mother, floating in their poisoned cistern.

“Perhaps it is morbid, but I have kept it all this time. Both because it is the only thing we have of her, other than my longsword and our memories, and also…” his voice trailed off, trying to force the words out of his chest. “… because I thought we may need it someday. This poison is so strong that it isn’t even allowed in the Domain anymore.”

His younger brother just continued to stare at him, unflinching. Brivere sighed. “I know. But I promise that I hid it because I thought that we would never need it. Because I hoped that things would get better.” He absolutely hated the way his voice was getting weaker by the second, the way he was breaking down in front of the one person he was supposed to be strong for.

But he just couldn’t be strong anymore. Maybe he never had been.

“However, I cannot lie anymore, Estuu.” he explained. “It is not fair to me. It is not fair to you. I have lost all hope. There is no future for either of us other than the torment that we have been putting ourselves through for nothing.” He wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not when Estuu nodded in agreement.

But he still caught the hesitation that lingered in his little brother’s golden eyes. “Estuu…” he said. “Do you miss mother?”

The younger Zora nodded feverishly. “Of course.” Brivere sadly chuckled. “It would be foolish to think otherwise.” He sat the bottle in his lap along with his hands, slightly rocking it back and forth. “She was the only home I have ever felt. I am sure you feel the same way. Not that I do not love you or that I am accusing you of not loving me, of course. But she made the world feel… safe. Like it was a place that would forgive us for simply trying to live among everyone else.” Estuu nodded, clearly agreeing with him.

“Estuu…” he whispered, voice barely audible. “All I want to do is go home. Don’t you desire that as well? To feel safe, to feel loved. And perhaps it is selfish of me, but as always… I could never go anywhere without you.”

To his surprise, his little brother suddenly slipped his small hand over his own, gently squeezing it as he nodded. Estuu had always hated touch. For him to do this…

He blinked away the tears that welled up in the corner of his eyes. “Thank you, Estuu. But I will only allow this if you promise that this is something you desire as well, without my own feelings to persuade you.”

Estuu gestured at the bottle. “Are you just worried that it won’t be efficient enough?” Brivere questioned, raising his brow. Nodding, the younger Zora let out a whine and pointed between the two of them with his only hand.

“Enough for both of us?” Brivere asked, holding up the bottle to closely examine it. The dark liquid inside only filled up the bottle halfway, and sure, perhaps that was enough to quickly kill his mother when she had used it. But that was over a century ago, so it may have lost its potency. Besides, he and Estuu weren’t children like they were back then. Both of them were much older now. “I am sure it is enough. Perhaps it won’t be as quick, but it will certainly be painless, and it is the best way I can imagine seeing mother again.”

Nodding, Estuu gently lowered himself into the water, floating around. Brivere watched him fondly, remembering how they both used to do that before bedtime while waiting for their mother. It just appeared that the tables had turned, because now _she_ was waiting for _them_.

He quickly lowered himself in as well, treading water as Estuu slowly swam around him. Grabbing the bottle, he held eye contact with his younger brother, who was staring back at him intensely. Usually, Estuu hated direct eye contact. But this would be the last time he could have it.

Brivere shook the bottle and held it up. “I promise that it will not hurt. It will feel like you are just going to sleep. In fact,” he swam over, tilting Estuu until he was on his back, “why don’t you try and take a nap? You will miss less that way.”

His younger brother hesitated, pointing his only hand at Brivere, who chuckled softly. “It is alright. I will still be here, watching you. I will make sure we go home together.”

Estuu slowly closed his eyes and nodded. Brivere hovered his hands underneath of his little brother, making sure that he didn’t move too much. When the younger Zora’s breaths became even and shallow, Brivere waved his hand in front of his little brother’s face. He was certain that Estuu had fallen asleep. Quietly, he uncorked the bottle and poured the dark liquid inside of the cistern.

The second it hit the water, Brivere could instantly feel the effects. His body suddenly felt very heavy, and eventually he let go, allowing himself to drift in the contaminated water. He watched Estuu’s body tense up for a second, eventually relaxing until his body went fully limp, bobbing gently in the water. Using the last of his strength, he pushed himself off of the wall and over to his little brother, cradling the tiny Zora into his broad chest.

Estuu wasn’t breathing. Before, this would’ve sent the golden Zora into hysterics, but in that moment, he let out a sigh of relief. He let the darkness cloud his vision as his head rolled back, completely giving himself over to oblivion.

;

Brivere awoke in the water. As his consciousness slowly came back to him, anxiety began to blossom in his chest. Did it not work?

Panicked, he tried to orient himself to tread water, desperately searching for his younger brother. It was difficult, as his legs felt as heavy as stone. Eventually, he managed to float upright in the water, scanning its smooth surface. Estuu was nowhere in sight. But as he took in his surroundings more, he realized where he actually was.

The medical bay.

A healer standing off to the side quickly looked over, startled by the sudden splashing. “Ah, Knight Captain!” she yelped, running over to the edge of the pool. “Please, do not move too much! You are still in critical condition!”

This was too much. “Where is my younger brother?!” he cried, pushing her away.

“Please, calm down! I will tell you what happened only if you float on your back!”

Hesitatingly, he did so, finding it difficult once again because of his legs, which felt numb for some odd reason. It took a while, but when he was finally on his back, his gold eyes stared intensely back up at her. “Please, mam, he is all I have. Where is Estuu?”

She shook her head sadly. “I am afraid that he is dead.”

“…what happened?” he croaked, fighting back the tears that stung his eyes. “I… I was supposed to go with him…”

The healer was frozen in place, trying to gather her thoughts. “I am so sorry, Knight Captain-!”

“Please do not call me that.” he whispered sharply, tightly shutting his eyes. “I do not deserve the title. Just… just Brivere is fine.”

She nodded. “Then, Brivere… I am so sorry. Some guards had entered your house because someone had reported that you were filling up your cistern, which is prohibited due to the Water Blight still spreading around. They were prepared to just arrest you, but…” her voice trailed off. He hated that he didn’t even have to look at her to see the pity on her face; it was practically dripping off of her words. “…no one expected to see you and your brother floating in poisoned water. They retrieved you, but your brother… he died long before they came in. I am sorry.”

“…Why?” he croaked. “Why didn’t I die too?”

“I am sorry that you felt the need to take your own life.” she said in a quiet voice. “Everyone is aware of your situation and background, and, in retrospect, they could see why. But even then, you shouldn’t have done this, Brivere. You have so much ahead-!”

“NO!” he screamed, eyes flying open in rage. “WHY DIDN’T I DIE TOO?!”

The healer flinched and jumped back. “The poison… it was extremely old. It was enough to kill your younger brother because he is still a child, but you’re a fully grown adult so it would have taken more time. If the guards hadn’t gotten you out, you certainly would have-“

Brivere rolled over, ignoring his legs that uselessly dragged through the water, instead using his strong arms to push himself over to her. “Then they should have left me there.” he spat.

She shook her head. “Brivere, please-!”

“You don’t understand!” he shouted in her face. “No one understands! I have nothing! I don’t even have my little brother anymore!”

Brivere’s voice cracked suddenly, as he was unable to hold back the tears anymore. He absolutely despised how much his voice dropped after that, so he fought the pain swelling in his throat to force out the words trapped inside. “All I wanted…” he whimpered. “I just… I just wanted to go home.”

The healer reached down and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was too tired to smack it away. “I am so sorry, Brivere. Please, just rest for now. We will have more healers come to talk about what the plan will be in regards to your situation.”

He nodded weakly. It didn’t matter anyways. “Just… is there anything else I need to know?” Catching the apprehension that flashed on her face, he continued. “If there is anything else, just say it. Just get all of the bad things out now so that I won’t break again later.”

She nodded hesitantly. “Well… the poison was in your system enough to still have an impact on your body. As a result, your legs don’t work anymore. And as such… you were dismissed from your position as Knight Captain.”

Brivere stared back at her, and she prepared for another melt down, but to her surprise he just laughed weakly. There was no humor in it, though. “I don’t know what I expected.” he murmured. “Just when I thought there was nothing else I could lose…”

“Brivere…”

He shook his head and tried to float on his back again, only using his arms. “Please. Just leave. I just need to be alone.”

Nodding, the healer shot him an apologetic look before stepping out of the archway, leaving him alone to soak in the healing water and his new reality.

;

The next few days in the medical bay were a horrible blur.

Muzu came by to officially dismiss him from his position as Knight Captain. He just nodded back numbly, too exhausted to say anything. After an awkward moment of silence, the old Zora had quickly bowed and apologized before scurrying out of the archway.

Healer after healer had come in, all of them talking in a coddling tone of voice that infuriated him. He didn’t want their pity. He didn’t deserve their help. All he wanted was to go home. But after a mental examination, they had deemed him too unstable to leave. In his sleep, they had cuffed his ankle to a chain bolted to the bottom of the healing pool, keeping him on a leash that wouldn’t even let him reach the edge of the medical bay.

So after losing his younger brother, his respected position, and his own damn legs, he apparently lost his freedom as well.

And to top it all off, it appeared that the goddess was also coming for whatever was left of his dignity, which luckily for him, was next to nothing, meaning that he at least wouldn’t have to lose much. Soldiers and nobles came in all the time trying to apologize, but he could tell that many were doing it more out of false sympathy than real sorrow and regret. Or perhaps they thought that a simple “sorry” would somehow even out the other vicious words they had pierced him with over the past hundred years. But he still caught the way they looked at him with pity, silently thankful that they hadn’t ended up as low as he had.

Even then, he could still see a hint of satisfaction in some of their eyes. As if he deserved this. As if it was punishment for some crime that he had never committed. Although he was chained to the pool, he could still hear their whispers in the hallways, calling him a monster for dragging his little brother into it, saying that it was about time that he tried at all. Apparently a common joke now was that he even failed at killing himself. Just like how he failed at everything else in his worthless life.

Captain Betaal, or rather, Knight Captain Betaal, visited a week in. She looked down at him, and he couldn’t tell if it was disgust or glee shining in her remaining eye. Probably both. She simply said her apologies, just like everyone else, and then promised that she would take care of Prince Sidon. Whatever he saw in her eye before turned to pity as she silently looked over his broken form one last time before leaving.

What finally broke him was when the Hylian Champion came the next day.

Link had walked in during a rare moment when no healers or any other Zora had come to visit. He wondered to himself if the Hylian had done it on purpose.

Brivere stared as Link made his way to the edge of the water. When he sat down, he snarled at the golden Zora. “Pathetic.” the Hylian spat.

“…I beg your pardon?” he growled, feeling the heat rising in his chest. It wasn't an apology. It was an invitation, daring Link to explain his audacity.

“I didn’t think you could sink any lower than you were before.” the Hylian scowled, staring him down with icy blue eyes. “What, is this because you’re still mad that Sidon didn’t choose you? You hurt him enough with your words, did you intend to fully destroy him and guilt trip him into not seeing me anymore?”

Brivere snarled, baring his sharp teeth. “Not everything is about you, you selfish wretch.”

“Oh, _I’m_ selfish?!” Link laughed incredulously. “I don’t recall dragging my own disabled and clearly emotionally unstable brother into some poisoned water! I don’t recall being enough of a coward that I let _him_ die before me!”

The golden knight let out a roar and shot forward, lunging at the Hylian. He would have torn Link apart if it hadn’t been for the metal cuff that dug into his ankle. Not as if he could feel it anyways. “Do not pretend to be higher than me!” Brivere shouted. “Do not act as if you are one to pass judgement! You have no idea what kind of torment I have gone through, especially because of someone like you!”

“Same to you!” Link screamed back in his face. “Do you know how much you hurt Sidon with what you fuckin’ said to him?! I’m the one who had to comfort him while you jacked yourself off of your own self-pity!”

“As if you could take care of him!” Brivere spat. “I refuse to accept that someone as low and vile as you could _possibly_ be the one that will be a good lover to him!”

Link’s face contorted into a crazed sneer as he leaned in, knowing that Brivere couldn’t grab him. “Well then you have to accept it. Sidon already knows that I’m better for him.” he chuckled. "Your fits of jealously are honestly just pitiful and annoying at this point.”

“It is _not_ jealousy.” Brivere hissed, narrowing his gold eyes. “I have dedicated my life to protecting the prince. I have already accepted that I will probably never be his friend again after what I have done, and that is alright. If it is good for his health, then I will give up everything for him. But _you_!” he scowled, stabbing a finger at the air right in front of the Hylian. “You are just as bad for him as I am, if not worse! All you do is destroy everything that comes near you. Yet you dare to pretend that you are better than me, as you ignore all of the damage you have caused.”

“Oh, what the hell are you even babbling on about?” Link laughed. There was clearly no humor in it.

“Do you honestly believe that I do not know about what you have done?” Brivere spat, boring a hole into the Hylian’s head with his blazing eyes. “You took our prince and forced him to commit sexual acts that he was not comfortable with out of concern for your safety. And then, as if you had determined that you didn’t break him enough, you summoned his sister’s spirit so that she could heal the wounds that were a result of your selfishness.”

The Hylian Champion stared back in disbelief, jaw slightly ajar. “You… you knew? How-!”

“As if my lord wouldn’t tell me! We have been friends long before he even knew of your existence!” the Zora snapped. “You bring up how much _I_ hurt him? Then you should have seen the way he begged for my forgiveness when he couldn’t focus on our sparing because of your sins!”

Brivere stopped himself and clenched his fists, absolutely trembling with fury. But he couldn’t tell if it was directed more at the heinous man in front of him or at himself. He had failed to protect the man he loved, the man he had sworn his life to protect. The man who was too caring, too kind, too naïve to see the danger within the Hylian that sat there as if he had done nothing wrong.

“You…” the golden knight hissed, vitriol dripping off of his words, “You are nothing but a worthless parasite feeding off of his kindness and love, hiding behind the false pretense that you could _ever_ be a proper lover to him.” He glared at the Hylian, rage boiling in his chest. “Truly, how dare you. You are as wretched as they come.”

To his surprise, Link recovered easily, staring back at him with triumph in his cold, blue eyes. “I could say the exact same thing about you.” he purred, voice disgustingly sweet. “But the fact remains that at the end of the day, Sidon still deemed that I was more worthy than you.”

Brivere numbly bobbed in the water as the Hylian’s words sank in. Satisfied, Link got up and began walking out of the archway but stopped, looking back over his shoulder to eye the broken Zora in the water. “You have nothing because you _are_ nothing.” he said simply.

And with that, Link walked out of the room, leaving Brivere with nothing but the truth echoing in his head.

;

That night, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

He just wanted to go home. He just wanted to see his family.

Diving under the surface, Brivere pushed through the water with his strong arms until he reached the bottom. He grabbed onto the metal chain and pulled with all of his might, feeling his joints pop and muscles burn from the effort. It wouldn’t budge. Eventually, he let go when his arms felt like they were on fire, despite the cool water he was submerged in. His fingers were sore and bruised from being so harshly clenched around the chains.

He warily eyed the cuff on his ankle. The silver leash would be impossible to take off without the guards or healers, who would never accept such a request.

But he could take off his foot on his own.

Bending himself at the waist, he opened his mouth and bit down on his ankle, _hard_. He smothered the scream that thrashed around in his chest when pain began to shoot up his leg and make his body buzz with agony. Trying to ignore it, he bit down harder, moving his head back and forth to saw through his own bones. If he imagined hard enough, he could pretend that he was just eating another fish for dinner. This was admittedly a bit difficult, as he had refused most of the meals given to him anyways, so he couldn’t exactly remember what eating a good dinner actually felt like.

With a sickening crack that loudly echoed through the water, he watched his foot slowly sink to the bottom of the pool as a cloud of blood began to taint his whole world red. Brivere quickly pulled his stumped ankle out of the metal cuff with ease.

He ignored the pain that burned his leg as he used his arms to swim back up to the surface. It wouldn’t matter anyways. None of it would matter soon.

When he broke through the surface, he scanned the room for any late night visitors or healers. By Hylia’s first blessing to him, no one was there. He swiftly shot over to the edge of the pool, hoisting himself up. It was harder to accomplish than he had anticipated, as days of inactivity and refusing meals suddenly took its toll on him as the adrenaline subsided. Nonetheless, he fought through the screaming of his muscles as he dragged himself out of the pool, crumpling against the cool stone with panting, labored breaths.

Shit. He hadn’t actually thought this far ahead.

Brivere quickly ran through the options in his mind, wanting to get this over with quickly before someone came in to stop him like last time. He didn’t have the poison on him. Obviously, he couldn’t drown himself. He couldn’t bite his own heart out… but perhaps he could claw at his throat?

He reached up to try it, but cursed when he felt his trimmed claws scratch at his scales. Damn. The healers must have anticipated that.

Looking around the empty room, his eyes finally settled on the window. No bars, no screen. Just an open hole in the wall, letting the moonlight flood into the room. A silent prayer echoed in his mind as he dragged himself towards it, begging Hylia to have mercy on him just this once.

And apparently, she had finally decided to show him some generosity, because his heart soared when he saw how high up his medical bay was. He could see most of the Domain, and the few people who were still awake at this ungodly hour looked like ants from his window.

There was no way he could fail this time.

Drawing up every last bit of strength within his quickly weakening body, he propped himself onto the edge and threw himself over. No hesitation, no last thoughts. He had had too much of that already when he had been imprisoned in the medical bay. Maybe he had had too much of it even before then.

And as he plummeted towards the cold stone pavement below, he closed his eyes, content.

He was finally going home.

;

Prince Sidon slowly opened his eyes, groaning at the pain that racked his body. Such was to be expected after taking the spirit potion. It took a toll on him both mentally and physically, and he was exhausted beyond belief. Despite this, he smiled softly at the sight of his Hylian lover sitting beside him, his small body sunk into the water bed.

“Ah, Link.” he croaked. “I am happy to see you.”

The Hylian Champion smiled back, but the gesture didn’t reach his cold blue eyes. Even without his empathy ability, Sidon could tell that something was wrong. “Love?” he asked. “Has something happened? You can confide in me, you know.”

Link’s eyes darted to the side as the smile quickly stretched into a taut frown. “Yes, but… it isn’t something that has happened to me. Well I mean, it has, and I didn’t expect it to, but…” the Hylian’s voice trailed off, slowly coming to a stop as he buried his face in his hands and shook his head.

Grunting, Sidon tried to prop himself up so that he could rub Link’s back, but the Hylian glared at him and pushed his large body back down. “No, I’ll talk.” Link said, eyes softening. Tears were prickling at the corners of them.  “Just lie there, okay? Don’t push yourself.”

Sidon nodded and leaned back into the water bed, letting out a relieved sigh. His lover carefully laid on top of him, relaxing his body when he could tell that it didn’t hurt the Zora prince. Link rubbed small circles on his arm and both of them laid in a comfortable silence.

Eventually, Sidon decided that it was time to begin other projects. He may have been knocked out for a whole week in agony due to a spirit potion, but nonetheless, he was still a prince. There were many things to be done. Sidon glanced to the doorway, surprised to not see his Knight Captain obediently guarding his room like usual. “Link,” he said, drawing the Hylian’s attention. “Where is Brivere? May you call-?”

He instantly stopped when he felt Link’s body stiffen on top of him at the sound of Brivere’s name. While the two of them were certainly not on good terms, the Hylian had never reacted like this before. “Link?” he asked. “What’s wrong? I know you two may not like each other, but-!”

“He’s dead, Sidon.”

Sidon just blinked. “…I beg your pardon?”

His lover pushed himself up on Sidon’s broad chest, revealing the tears that were threatening to flow out of his blue eyes. “Sidon…” Link said, voice cracking. “They found him outside of the infirmary. He jumped out of the window. I’m so sorry. I know you two were very close.”

Sidon felt numb. He asked the question that wasn’t gnawing at his mind, for he knew that if he asked the one that was actually eating him alive then it would just confirm it all. “Why was he in the infirmary?”

Link opened his mouth, but a strangled gasp was all that came out. He got off of Sidon and sat up on the water bed, rubbing his throat and wiping at his eyes. After a few strangled grunts, he turned back to the prince. “He tried to kill himself a few days ago too. Apparently they found him almost half dead in his poisoned cistern. Estuu was there too and…”

His blue eyes shut tightly. “He’s also dead.”

Not knowing what to say, Sidon numbly stared the ceiling. Tears flowed out of his eyes as he silently wept, the screams writhing around in his chest fighting for a way out. And eventually they won, turning Sidon’s heaving breathing into howls that shook the whole room.

He quickly sat up, ignoring the pain that erupted all over his body. “What in Hylia’s name happened?!”

Link stared back at him. “It’s my fault.”

“…What?”

“It’s…” the Hylian slammed his fists into his head, grabbing at his blond hair. “It’s my fucking fault, Sidon!”

Sidon just blinked at him. “No… gods, Link… what did you do?”

"I said a bunch of shit to him!” Link screamed back. “I shouldn’t have! I know I shouldn’t have! He literally tried it a few days ago and lost his little brother, and his legs, and his Knight Captain position!”

Dumbfounded, Sidon continued to stare back. “…how…”

“The goddamn poison! It was enough to kill Estuu but when they got Brivere out he was still alive! It damaged his legs, and he was dismissed!”

Sidon sat there, trembling. He had had no idea that Brivere had felt that way. But now that he looked back on it, he was absolutely furious with himself for not seeing it sooner, especially when he literally had the ability to read other people’s minds and emotions. His beloved friend… who had lost everything. His mother, his nobility status, his reputation, his pride, his home, his brother, his job… just, everything.

It should have been obvious.

The prince shuddered, remembering the last things he had said to Brivere. The cold way he had looked at the golden knight. The threat to remove Brivere from his position if he ever dared to say such things again, when the golden Zora was delirious, sick with the Water Blight. The empty promise of possibly considering rekindling their bond. It hit Sidon so hard that he crumpled into himself, hugging his knees so hard that he could feel them bruise.

Brivere had died thinking that Sidon hated him. That he had lost his only friend on top of everything else.

Slowly, the prince straightened up, glaring at Link, who was still tearing at his hair and mumbling to himself. “What did you say to him.” he said in an unsettlingly steady voice.

The Hylian jumped, staring back at him wide-eyed. “No… I, I didn’t mean to-!”

“What did you say to him?!” Sidon shouted.

After a pause, Link gulped, speaking in a weak voice barely above a whisper. “I… I said that he was selfish. That he hurt you. That he killed his brother, and that he was a coward. And then he said that I was a horrible person, that I am the lowest of the low… and I said that he was too, but you still chose me over him. I said he had nothing because he was nothing. And then… I left.”

The Hylian gasped for air, looking at Sidon with pleading eyes. “Sidon, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I never wanted him to die-!”

“Get out.”

Link flinched at the coldness in the prince’s usually soft voice. “N-no… please, Sidon, don’t, im sor-!”

“GET OUT!” he roared, slamming his fist into the wall next to his bed. Link jumped off of the bed and backed up slowly, but quickly rushed out when he caught the deadly glare that Prince Sidon was giving him.

His chest was heaving, fury burning his body alive. “AND DO NOT DARE TO COME BACK!” he screamed at the entranceway. He didn’t even know if Link had heard it. He didn’t even care at this point. It had to be clear enough from the moment he had ordered him to leave.

Sidon crumpled back into himself, curling into a hopeless ball that sunk into the water bed. The room became filled with desperate gasps of air, in between heavy sobs and weeping. His mind was filled with apologies that would never be heard by the one person he wanted to say them to.

He couldn’t help but laugh hopelessly at the irony of the situation. Now _he_ was the one who had nothing. He had lost his knight, the one Zora who had felt like a true friend among the many who just used the prince for his power and status. He lost his lover, his sister, his people were dying…

Sidon just wanted to go home, wherever that may be.

**Author's Note:**

> ... and in the distance, a witch laughed maniacally, enjoying the sight of Prince Sidon withering around in bed. She loved giving him nightmares that WERE NOT TRUE AT ALL AND NEVER HAPPENED HAHAHAHAHA
> 
> on a real note, wrote this one with my own experiences with depression and suicide, so hopefully it feels real in that aspect


End file.
